that first year

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that first year

Postby little_tigress » Sun Aug 25, 2013 12:45 am

So I keep hearing that the first year of marriage is always the toughest because you're learning to adapt to living with that other person and all the compromises that go along with that. Have you found that to be true in your experience? Or are all those people lying to me? :D
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that first year

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Re: that first year

Postby Wren » Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:20 am

I can't really say for two reasons. I've been married for less than 2 years and I got pregnant only 2 months into the marriage. Plus we moved to a different region of the U.S. shortly before the birth (which was just a couple of weeks before our first anniversary). (Oh yeah, and the MILs each being here for 3 months.) So, it's all been crazy here. :P

I can see how that would be true, though. You are taking two different personalities and you may love each other and all that, but love doesn't stop you from being annoying sometimes. But you'd think that you'd learn to deal with that as time goes on and get into a more comfortable family rhythm.
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Re: that first year

Postby mina » Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:26 am

I've always heard that and I don't think the first year was hard for us. I think it was very easy, but we were also both marriage minded people. It is an adjustment to live with someone, but it really wasn't that hard. You love someone= you willingly adapt.
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Re: that first year

Postby Heather » Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:46 am

I've heard that, and in a way it's true because you're combining two different people under one new roof. On the other hand, the first year is the easiest because you're still on the in-love high. It's a fun, new experience to be married. It's only down the road when things start to get hard and you have to work to make it work. Most of my married girlfriends believe marriage is the kiss of death for a relationship. I don't know if I'll get married again, but in spite of my past unhealthy marriage I *am* optimistic of what marriage is supposed to be like.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. - Proverbs 31:25
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Re: that first year

Postby AshLynne_NC » Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:08 am

I really don't know that I would agree with that. I dated my husband for 2 years before we got married, and I lived with him for quite awhile beforehand (because of family reasons and because I didn't have anywhere else to go for awhile). I think that adapting to being around anyone 24/7 would be rough, married or not. You're taking 2 living styles and putting them under one roof, so of course there are going to be clashes.

But in marriage it's all about self-sacrifice and compromise. If your relationship is mature enough you can reach solutions without much trouble. :)
Love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you-- it will set you free; be more like the man you were made to be. There is a design, an alignment, a cry of my heart to see the beauty of love as it was made to be.Mumford and Sons, Sigh No More
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Re: that first year

Postby Sara » Sun Aug 25, 2013 4:05 am

Our first year was fairly easy. If this is the hardest it's going to be, I'm really surprised! heh.
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Re: that first year

Postby Thunder Peel » Sun Aug 25, 2013 3:09 pm

Our first year has been pretty easy for the most part. Obviously there are adjustments and certain things we had to work out but overall it hasn't been as uncomfortable or as difficult as we expected. We're really thankful that God has allowed us to adjust and have a relatively smooth first year. Compared to many couples we know we've been blessed with a happy first year.
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Re: that first year

Postby Kenobi » Sun Aug 25, 2013 4:41 pm

I guess I'm the odd one out, because our first year of marriage was really, really hard. As in, we only made it by God's grace hard. But then we were dealing with some circumstances that most newly married couples don't have to face at any point ever in their marriage, let alone in the first year, so I think that accounts for most of why it was so difficult. For us, once we got through that first year, it only got better. We've continued to have obstacles to face, naturally, but our relationship has only improved. Now being three years into it, we are closer and more in love than ever before. Thanks be to God! :)
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." --Jeremiah 29:11
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Re: that first year

Postby Ethnog » Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:48 pm

Kenobi wrote:I guess I'm the odd one out, because our first year of marriage was really, really hard. As in, we only made it by God's grace hard. But then we were dealing with some circumstances that most newly married couples don't have to face at any point ever in their marriage, let alone in the first year, so I think that accounts for most of why it was so difficult. For us, once we got through that first year, it only got better. We've continued to have obstacles to face, naturally, but our relationship has only improved. Now being three years into it, we are closer and more in love than ever before. Thanks be to God! :)

I don't think you are odd, and I am glad you both got through!
A coworker would not stop talking about how amazing her husband was, and then later on when we talked she told me they had a very hard few years in the beginning stages of their marriage. But they both worked very hard to make it work, and she cannot stop gushing over her husband, its so so adorable.
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Re: that first year

Postby Wren » Sun Aug 25, 2013 6:06 pm

I was thinking and realized that while the first year had a lot of craziness, the second year has been much harder. The first year was a pretty good one for us. I think the second year has been much rougher because of having a baby and MILs staying with us. I think the first year of having a baby is probably often a very stressful one for couples.
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