On a scale of 1 to 10

Dating and Engagement. Discuss romance, love, and relationships that haven't been brought to the altar yet.

On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby sketcher » Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:57 am

Gals, respond with what you like, guys, respond with what has worked for you (and why it seemed to work).

What should a guy's interest level be if he is going to ask a gal out, on a scale of 1 to 10? 1 being "Won't give you the time of day" and 10 being "Clearly desperate and follows you around like a puppy."
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On a scale of 1 to 10

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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby little_tigress » Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:01 pm

Hm. Not really sure how to answer that. I want him to be interested. But not so interested that it's as if his entire happiness were dependent upon my being in the same room and making eye contact. I don't handle clingy/desperation well.

Soo... 7? I dunno.
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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby Ethnog » Thu Sep 25, 2014 4:01 pm

9-10 anything below his eyes are gonna search!
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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby Ethnog » Fri Sep 26, 2014 4:14 am

Oh I guess I read it wrong this morning. Yeah, I wouldn't like the desperate kind at all, it's not attractive. To me 9-10 scale would be he's really into you and has no interest in dating other women to know for sure. That's what I meant, if that makes sense.
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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby Amber » Sat Sep 27, 2014 5:16 pm

What number is "attracted and interested in seeing if you two could be compatible"?

That seems to be a good medium.
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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby sketcher » Sun Sep 28, 2014 5:56 am

Amber wrote:What number is "attracted and interested in seeing if you two could be compatible"?

That seems to be a good medium.

There are several, with varying levels of doubt and willingness to see who else is out there.
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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby little_tigress » Sun Sep 28, 2014 6:23 am

IMO, if he's at all thinking, "I wonder if I could do better.." Then I'd want him to move along and see for himself is he could do better and leave me out of the mix.
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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby sketcher » Sun Sep 28, 2014 7:06 am

little_tigress wrote:IMO, if he's at all thinking, "I wonder if I could do better.." Then I'd want him to move along and see for himself is he could do better and leave me out of the mix.

The problem for me is that when all of that is gone, I've reached the stage of being obsessed and possibly desperate (8+). Which is about as attractive as an old sock. I don't want to repel women, hurt them, or let a good one slip by. After all these years I still haven't been able to find the sweet spot.
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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby little_tigress » Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:40 pm

I think usually when that happens to someone it's due to a lack of balance in life. There has to be more in life that makes you happy than that one woman. Dreams, work, hobbies, church, whatever. Maybe you need to make a conscious choice not to allow yourself to become completely wrapped up in her and to split your focus between her and the rest of your life. If you marry, she's not there to be your happiness, but to share in it. That's important to remember.
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Re: On a scale of 1 to 10

Postby sketcher » Mon Sep 29, 2014 4:04 am

little_tigress wrote:I think usually when that happens to someone it's due to a lack of balance in life. There has to be more in life that makes you happy than that one woman. Dreams, work, hobbies, church, whatever. Maybe you need to make a conscious choice not to allow yourself to become completely wrapped up in her and to split your focus between her and the rest of your life. If you marry, she's not there to be your happiness, but to share in it. That's important to remember.

I go out with friends semi-regularly. Gaming makes me happy for a little while when I'm not doing that, as does watching sports. I work full-time, and I like my job. I will also say that I haven't been at 10 for years, since I was 18. I have made conscious choices to not allow myself to get there. That girl I was talking about on CF a couple of years ago? It literally took years of repressing feelings and finding out I could no longer do that to get to 8, maybe 9. That of course didn't work out, and the years leading up to that were not healthy. I'd let a couple opportunities for relationship with other women pass during that time - more than that, but there were only two that in hindsight, had the potential to be healthy. The gal who I've had my eye on lately seemed to be more interested in me when we first met, but I wasn't sure if where I was at would have been good for her. I've given myself more time to recover and to think about it and get to know her casually, but I have good reason to believe that she is over me now. And that stings, even though I don't believe I've hit 8 with her.
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