Lost Love: Guess Who's Back!

Dating and Engagement. Discuss romance, love, and relationships that haven't been brought to the altar yet.

Lost Love: Guess Who's Back!

Postby little_tigress » Sun Jul 20, 2014 12:38 am

link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles ... -whos-back

I just read that and found it rather interesting. And a good argument for why exes should be out of the picture when the next relationship starts.

What do you think?
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Lost Love: Guess Who's Back!

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Re: Lost Love: Guess Who's Back!

Postby mina » Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:49 am

Don get married if you are still pining for someone else. I think that's stupid. And it's very unfair to your spouse.
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Re: Lost Love: Guess Who's Back!

Postby Wren » Sun Jul 20, 2014 6:00 pm

I agree with Mina. Even if I had stayed friends with my exes, I wouldn't be concerned about feelings coming back. I am so very glad that I did not marry any of them and married the man that I did. All of my exes are that for good reasons.

Though assuming someone is not married to someone else, the lost loves finding each other thing sounds nice.
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Re: Lost Love: Guess Who's Back!

Postby little_tigress » Sun Jul 20, 2014 7:21 pm

Yep. I hear stories of people separated by war and other circumstances beyond their control finding each other decades later and still as in love as ever. Those are beautiful.

I don't understand, though, those who are in relationships who seek those people out. I mean I do to an extent. I think that, unless the relationship was purely toxic, if you truly love someone then they will always have a place in your heart. But relationships end for a reason and seeking those people out, when you're not able to do anything about it, only puts yourself and that person in a dangerous situation. No good can come from it.

The story about the married man who talks to his highschool ex constantly, even though he knows it bothers his wife makes me want to shake him. He won't physically cheat on his wife because, "he's not that kind of guy". But he apparently has no problem emotionally bonding in an intimate way with someone other than his wife. It's not right and it's playing with fire.
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Qu'ils sont beaux sur les montagnes, Les pieds de celui qui apporte de bonnes nouvelles, Qui publie la paix! De celui qui apporte de bonnes nouvelles, Qui publie le salut! De celui qui dit à Sion: ton Dieu règne!
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Re: Lost Love: Guess Who's Back!

Postby Toro » Mon Jul 21, 2014 1:56 am

Exes have no business being in the picture when someone new comes along.

I dont care who the ex was. If I were dating/married and an e contacted me. The BEST that woman could hope for is "Im dating/married, goodbye." But thats only if the attempt to contact was constant.

Usually I just ignore the attempt and continue on with life. About like a bug on a windsheild slows the momentum of a car. Well, one that ISN'T a Prius anyway. :lol:

I have been put through the "Oh, this is my friend.... we dated before... blah blah blah" Its unneeded drama.

I don't put a woman through that. I never appreciate when she does it to me.
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